My Heart is Heavy

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I got the report back on my dog, Sierra. She has a “soft tissue tumor” in her leg. The veterinarian gave us several options, but I can’t see that any of them are fair to Sierra. I could have the lump removed, but then she’d have skin graphs and radiation. The surgery might be botched and then they would have to amputate. It might be a success and lump would grow right back where it was. The leg could be amputated, but she might not survived the surgery as she is 10 years old. Some choices! I say those aren’t really choices at all! And, not very fair either.

I love my sweetness dearly. Throughout my illness, she has been the sunlight in each day. When I am down, she manages to do something goofy that makes me smile. When I am in pain, she curls up on the bed next to me careful not to sit on my feet or other sore body parts. The time we spend together on our walks or laying around the house is the highlight of my day.

This is one of those times where I must put aside my own problems and concentrate on hers. At the same time, I have to stay on top of things because if I crumble, I won’t be able to take care of her. No matter what I feel like, her injury is far more serious.

I find myself being very melancholy these days…remembering the “good ol’ days”. It wasn’t long ago that we brought her home and she was scrambling on the linoleum.

For now, I plan to keep her comfortable. I let her lay in her favorite spot in the sunlight and I let her lick the peanut butter from my fingers after I give her her pills. She would do the same for me (and probably more!)

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