Autumn Dread

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Tell me why I don’t like Autumn…Yes, I know, that’s not the way the Boomtown Rats song goes. Still, since I’ve had arthritis, I look on Autumn with a certain sense of dread.

It’s not Autumn per se. It’s a fine time of year. The leaves changing color, Indian Summer weather, and a crispness in the air are all very enjoyable.

What I don’t like is where Autumn leads. The weather slowly but surely shifts. The fog rolls in more often and rain is on the horizon. Autumn always leads to Winter and that’s the time of year my arthritis worsens. As the seasons shift, my joints get creakier. My movement stiffens and suddenly I am an 80 year old woman in a 41 year old body. That shift can be a little depressing.

As the weather changes, so does the length of the days. It’s dark in the morning and it’s dark by 5pm. The shorter days are cooler and I don’t feel like being outside. I begin to sense all those hours I’ll be inside because walking around outside becomes more difficult. The sliding back door will be shut because of the chill air. That feeling can be a little suffocating and claustrophobic.

I know that as the days get shorter and colder, the agility in my feet lessens, and I’ll be looking at these white walls a heck of a lot more.

And, then I start wishing for Spring. Glorious spring with it’s blue skies and sunny days. Days when I can swing open the doors wide, stand in my backyard with my dog, or take a brief walk out front.

But, those days are a long way off from October. Now I sit with my dread wishing Autumn would take a hike and Summer would slip in the back door. I don’t have any power over the seasons though, so I guess I’ll have to keep busy and wait for Spring.

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